I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I could fuck to npr.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
