Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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