second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
