I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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