just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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