all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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