thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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