Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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