Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize