Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
