New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
