So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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