So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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