You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
