dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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