Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's just like the Real World with babies
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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