at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
