I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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