tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
