you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
