I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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