he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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