you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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