So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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