i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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