keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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