She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
