your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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