oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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