I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
