Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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