Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This baby is an asshole
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
