Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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