Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
