There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Less talking, more tequila
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
