So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
