now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
