the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize