saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize