Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
