He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
