i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
