We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
