is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
