beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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