I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
