Just fell off a train. Bad.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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