what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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