I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize