You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
