I didn't shave. On purpose
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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