It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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