Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
