Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
