i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
