the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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