We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
