well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
