I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
