i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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