You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
